The Best of the Best (04 April 2005)

In the world of translation, one thing is vital: that you are a specialist in the language you translate from and into. Otherwise, you may as well sell potatoes.
So when I come across some really "good" freelancers, I can't stop myself from introducing them to the wider world ;-)
Here are some "About Me" quotes:
"We are specialized in two language pairs: Arabic>English and English>Arabic. Our main goal is to stick to tight deadlines and to offer the best quality, so, we decided to focus only on these two pairs."
Thank God! Their main goal is not to stick to tight deadlines, I prefer tight jeans. It's all a matter of choice. I assume the "two pairs" are him and his mirror-image?
"We employ three teams that collaborate to achive tasks assigned to them before deadlines. We stick to our slogan:”low price, best quality, almost in no time!”.
It would be a sad freelancer indeed who would achieve his tasks AFTER the deadline. Now, if I did not actually know this guy, I would have thought he was Indian :-)
"During this period, we translated a large amout of technical manulas, brochures, research papers, books, theses and a variety of documents related to a variety of language registers. As for localization, we always focus on transferring the themse of the Source Text into its counterpart in the Target Text in a way that satisfies the Target Text receiver. We participated, through contracts and subcontracts in localizing famous computer learning series, books and software manulas for reputable software and PC-learning companies."
Now who wants to start picking up the spelling mistakes in this bit? What are "manulas"? "Themse" anyone with me? "Amout" in Arabic means "I will die" - was it a Freudian slip? And how come he just said he "sticks to these two pairs" and now has a "variety of language registers"? Or is he not registering? Or maybe it is US English, UK English and Cairene English? A click away, under "Services"
"We offer a quality-oriented translation in ALL language registers."
One more click and magically the register has shrunk to "We only deal with two language pairs to ensure quality: Arabic>English and English>Arabic."
" We are always up-to-date regarding new terms and methodology of translation, localization and technical writing. We promise you to do your work with the utmost accuracy. We promise you to cling to your deadlines. And finally we promise you the best rates in the market."
And I promise to not send you any work, mate. Stop clinging, it doesn't befit a big boy like you. Sure you can have a dead-line. You can have a dead-anything if you keep it up this way :-)